deep thoughts
ok. after some chatting wf some frens, i realize maybe it is a mistake for liking u in the 1st place. listen... even frm young, i always had these fear of losing frens you know. a gd example will be when i go wf my frens to eat, maybe the table got 4 space then there is 5 ppl. and i m left alone sitting there. no matter how close i m to them, i would feel uneasy. i would be tinking "maybe they hate me". YES... i feel tat way. even during choosing of grps in projects. i m scared i would be the one left out. secretly thinking "CHOOSE ME" the fact is i m afraid i m left alone in this world alone without anyone. therefore i treasure every single fren. u may tink its idiotic to tink this way, but hey everyone has his or her own fears. so wad i fear of losing frens. friendship is always an important thing in my life. i treasure everyone around me. YES. i may not show it. but tat doesnt mean i dun treat you as a fren or wad. i not really gd at expressing myself. i live my own life wf this fake optimism. i act like everyday was my birthday and dun show my real emotion. i got tat 16 for my olevel when i was aimming like 12? i still could say "who cares. lets go pool!" do u tink i was really did not care abt my results? no. i care. in fact alot. i juz didnt wanna spoil the mood for those who were celebrating their wonderful results. i m juz too complicated.
i not rdy to forgo any friendship with my other frens over u. i m juz too coward to face the fact i hav to give up something. maybe i m. NO. its not maybe . ITS I M.. its a big mistake. how i wish i could juz turn back in time and not did tat mistake of actually liking you. i wish you well. and of coz all my frens. miss all of you guys. juz treat the entries below these as rubbish. nth was said nth was understood.
acted at 11:40 pm (:
rabbit.esther
mingyue
nic
cindy
peiyee
shuli
sarah